Dusana Michaels

Author of "Chopping the Onion"

It does get better

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I am a reluctant social media user. I’d rather have face to face interactions than those that take place over the internet. Over the past twenty years and as part of the times, I’ve tried various means of communication that the internet has offered. Some have been quite positive and I’ve felt close to the people I was communicating with. Others were a case of learning where reality started and where my hopes had gotten the best of me. Some friendships have waned as people chose to communicate more and more often through Facebook than picking up the phone.

With writing and promoting a book, I knew I’d have to delve once again into the world of social media. I’m not on Twitter and Facebook as often as recommended but I do peruse a couple times a week. My feelings that there are so many more things I could be doing have changed to an appreciation.

There are a couple people/organizations that I follow a little more closely than others. I can see how this form of support could have been useful at the beginning of my healing journey from childhood incest. At that time I tried support groups and many of the people in the groups seemed to have gotten stuck in their stories and the pain. I too was experiencing great pain but I knew I didn’t want to stay there. I wanted to keep on growing and healing.

As I read the post or blogs, I also appreciate that life does get better as you transverse the path of recovery. Even when I get triggered yet again, it’s never quite as bad as it was in the beginning. I have more coping skills and have learned how to manage the pain. I’ve learned to meet each occurrence with an attitude of willingness and wonder. I wonder what message I’m needing to learn this time and I’m willing to sit with the pain to get through it. In over twenty years of healing I’ve never learned a quicker method over the pain than through it.

You have to make some sort of friend from it. It visits, it has a purpose, and though it still sucks, the more you can listen to what it is offering you in the character building department, the more compassion, empathy and wisdom you have to offer others. We are all living the human condition and it is tough. Though I haven’t always appreciated the lessons as I was going through them, I’m glad I’ve had the dedication and tenacity to be on this side of the learning. It does get better.

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Author: authordusanamichaels

I have been healing and recovering from incest for over 25 years. It's been an incredibly tough, and yet rewarding process. I have learned to love, trust, and persist under soul crushing circumstances. Beauty can be found everyday, even if it is only for a moment.

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