Dusana Michaels

Author of "Chopping the Onion"

Chopping the Onion Book Excerpt: Incest Cannot

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Incest Cannot:

  • Take my smile
  • Claim my beauty
  • Control my emotions
  • Haunt me
  • Make me uncomfortable around men
  • Take my love
  • Have my power
  • Dominate my life
  • Run my sexuality
  • Make me less than
  • Make fun of me
  • Have my future
  • Affect my present
  • Live in the past without my permission


You are just a bad dream that happened to me a long time ago.



Dear Dusana,

You are right, I cannot control you anymore. You have learned the lessons you came here to learn. You’ve done a brilliant job and you are free of me. I ruined enough of your life, be free to create the life you want. I see you in a beautiful fulfilling relationship with a man who doesn’t care one lick for me. All he sees is you. Shine dear woman and bestow your gifts to the world. You have a lot to teach. Thank you for letting me visit your life but I am done with you now. Help others to let me go too. God is waiting.




I have been jealous of the support people get from having cancer. Part of the above entry is my solution to that. I have seen the plaques for Cancer Cannot…and wanted one for incest. Though I can’t imagine people buying one, putting it up in their homes or wearing it on a t-shirt. I laugh thinking of someone seeing a person walking down the street with their incest t-shirt on.

I want The Walk. I went to the end of a Susan G. Komen walk and saw the celebration for the survivors of breast cancer. I tried to take it in and imagine it being for me, for incest survivors. Just thinking about having that much vocal and demonstrative support makes me cry. There are no banners stating: Yeah, we survived incest. Our fight is terminal; it’s here until the end.


Author: authordusanamichaels

I have been healing and recovering from incest for over 25 years. It's been an incredibly tough, and yet rewarding process. I have learned to love, trust, and persist under soul crushing circumstances. Beauty can be found everyday, even if it is only for a moment.

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