Last year, when I realized it was time to write about my experiences with healing from sexual abuse as a child, I once again visited how to present it. I felt I had been writing it in my head over the years. As part of my writing process, I had started the book many times. As I looked back on what I had down, I saw that there were different points of view or voices pertaining to my relationship with the abuse and my healing process. Some were from within the healing process and others were more of a third person account. Every time I thought about my need to pen a book, it was always from the intention of presenting my experiences in such a way that others could benefit from what I’ve been through. It’s such a common theme, to share in order to help at least one other person.
I had kept my journals through the years and started to read them. I re-experienced my pain and examined my confusing thoughts about relationships and life. I saw the spiritual strength I possessed that allowed me to ever continue my journey forward. Themes were repeated as I learned new ways to relate to what I had been through. And throughout the recovery process, I met what life was bringing me with an attitude of, ‘okay, now what do I need to learn’?
In my journals I found truth, vulnerability, rawness and the human struggle displayed through the years. I decided it was the place to start for my book and offer the very personal passages for others to find themselves within them too. Life is not about having everyday be sunshine, rainbows, and smooth sailing. But about what you do when every ounce of your being wants to quit. How do you find it within yourself to get up once more and take a step? How do you face inconceivable pain and struggles with dignity and grace until faith and strength can be found in your character? How do you share this with another person who is lost but you know has it within them an unwavering power that answers, yes you can.
I have found that by facing my pain I can appreciate beauty more completely and simply. It is the quiet acknowledgement that for a moment, life is perfect the way it is.