Dusana Michaels

Author of "Chopping the Onion"

Having a voice or being silent

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Dylan Farrow is in the news talking about having to see Woody Allen being lauded for his work while what he did to her as a child is ignored. Once again, survivors have the chance to watch and see what happens. Is she believed and supported? Is she attacked and ridiculed? We have the opportunity to live through the experiences of another survivor and imagine what we would do in a similar situation. Do we risk talking or do we remain silent? The question that is repeatedly asked throughout our lives.

The trust that is taken away by abuse has to be relearned over and over again. While going through life, survivors have to choose what to say and to whom. I learned that incest is not a part of my life that I share with everyone. In fact, most people don’t know what happened to me as a child. Many factors go into when and why I share and each survivor must answer these questions for himself.

When child abuse is in the news, it can be another chance for being triggered or an opportunity for healing. It can be a reminder of what happened or how you were treated. It can reaffirm your decisions for having a voice or being silent. You can feel part of a larger community or feel isolated in your pain. It helps to guide the next steps on the path to recovery as the wound is touched once more.

Her brother Ronan spoke up about the molestation after the Golden Globes tribute to Woody Allen. I wept as one brother stood up for his sister. I healed a little part of myself that was not given that experience from my own siblings.

I feel stronger as I move forward as a survivor choosing to have a voice also. I know I am not alone with my stuggles.


Author: authordusanamichaels

I have been healing and recovering from incest for over 25 years. It's been an incredibly tough, and yet rewarding process. I have learned to love, trust, and persist under soul crushing circumstances. Beauty can be found everyday, even if it is only for a moment.

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